Ex-Boyfriends // Staying Friends with Your Ex

Through recent conversations with the girls, (you know who you are), we determined that there is a strategy to remaining friends with your ex-ex-boyfriends. If you’re like me, and you have more than one ex, then this theory may just work for you.

Whoever your second last ex-boyfriend is, so not the very last person you dated but the one who came before him – bring him on! You can be friends with this guy. Not best friends, but definitely cordial when your mutual group of friends decides to hangout. You might even enjoy speaking with them, I mean it.

This is because enough time has passed that you have gained a mutual respect for him, all attraction (or sexual tension) has diminished, and you want to see the other person happy in work, friends, family, or even, love (with someone who is NOT you). Also, you will not be affected by the ex-ex-boyfriends treatment of you if it’s plainly polite and not heart-felt because you have forgotten the hurt that came LONG before that.

Time does heal all. However, it heals only if you have dated another guy – who you have since then broken up with – and are now either happily single or dating a NEW and improved man.

Are you following?

With that said, whether you are experiencing a fun-single period or in love with your current boyfriend, won’t change the fact that you CANNOT be friends with your immediate – last – ex-boyfriend. Don’t even think about it. Why bring all of that torture and misunderstanding back into your life, because let’s be honest, he won’t be a friend to you until he has dated someone else. Even then, it’s icky to be friends with your ex, and I don’t care what anyone else has to say about it.

Leave the immediate ex in the past. Not enough time has passed, and there may still be a manipulative intention behind those “happy amends.” Plainly said, this re-formed relation will be phoney, so take those mutual friends with you – if you so choose. Just don’t call your immediate ex-boyfriend unless you want to look for trouble – not just with yourself – but with your current boyfriend too!

This is my advice, so you can take it or leave it on the page.

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4 Responses to Ex-Boyfriends // Staying Friends with Your Ex

  1. Cam says:

    I kind of agree, yes. Good points all around, Daniela Holmes!
    What would you say to friendship with an “ex” (so not ex-ex) after a huge amount of time has passed…such as 10 years? Curious to hear your thoughts!
    xo

    • Dee says:

      Hi Cam,

      Thank you for reading my post and taking the time to comment!

      I can honestly say that I don’t have an ex that I’ve been separated from for more than 5 years, let alone 10, but here it goes…

      Though a lot of time has passed, it’s really dependent on what has happened within those ten years. What I mean by that is, are you both currently dating someone else? With that comes to the ability to let go of the other person, but it is tricky when they are the last person you dated.

      You also have to ask yourself, what does that person have to offer me? With friendship you often share personal things about your life with that person. How comfortable would you be discussing your current relationship, or dating mishaps, with someone you used to date? That is something to think about too.

      I think 10 years is a long time and may vary well be long enough to strike up a mutual friendship. Ultimately it depends on the circumstance, but I still wouldn’t do it.

  2. Christina says:

    Exes, what a tough subject to tackle in a short blog post!! Personally, I dislike fixed boundaries but (as you know) I usually think it’s better for an ex not to be an “active” part of one’s life. I support being friendly and on good terms if the relationship allows, but I rarely involve exes from my past in too much of my present, day-to-day life. I prefer to make more room for the future 🙂

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